The Bean Soup Theory – A Thought About Preference and Perspective
Imagine someone shares a recipe for bean soup. It is clearly labeled, meant for people who like bean soup, and it is posted with the intention of being helpful, inspiring, or simply enjoyable.
Most people will think, Yum, this is useful. Others might think, Beans aren’t really my thing, and scroll on.
But sometimes the response becomes:
“Can I make this without beans?” “What if I don’t like beans?” “This doesn’t work for me.”
It is not wrong to feel that way. Tastes differ, needs differ, preferences differ. But not everything we come across is designed with us specifically in mind. That is normal, healthy, and part of life.
The Heart of the Bean Soup Theory
Not every post, policy, or idea will apply to every person.
Some things are helpful to you. Some are helpful to someone else. Both can coexist peacefully.
Sometimes the most empowering response is simply recognizing:
“This one isn’t meant for me.”
And continuing forward without needing it to be changed or reshaped to fit our personal taste.
Where This Applies Beyond Soup
Every day, we move through a world full of information, choices, opinions, invitations, and opportunities. Some will resonate and others will not. Instead of assuming every situation should adjust to our preferences, we can practice a healthier mindset:
• Take what serves us • Let go of what does not • Respect that others may value something we do not
Life becomes less tangled when not everything has to be for us in order to be valuable. We can allow variety without feeling the need to rewrite it to match our own taste.
Sometimes the most peaceful thing we can do is notice something, acknowledge that it does not suit us, and keep moving. No critique needed. No conflict required. Just space.
How This Applies to Association Life
In an association, we all share the same community, but we do not always share the same needs, lifestyles, or interests. One announcement may excite one member and mean very little to another. A new policy may feel supportive to some and unnecessary to others. An event might be exactly what one person hoped for while someone else scrolls past without a second thought.
And that is okay.
Just like bean soup, some things in our community will be meant for you and some will be meant for someone else. The beauty of association living is that it brings together many people with different priorities under one shared place to call home. We do not all have to want the same things in order to live well together. We simply need to recognize that something can have value even when we are not the person benefiting from it.
When we allow space for ideas, activities, and decisions that do not directly serve us, but serve another family or another need, we create a community that feels more spacious, more gracious, and less tense.
We do not need to love every initiative to appreciate that someone will.
This isn’t about whether we follow rules or agree with every policy. It is simply about understanding that not everything is created for each of us individually, yet still has a place and purpose.
Awareness does not divide a community. It strengthens it.
Disclaimer: In this blog, the terms HOA and Owners Association/POA are used interchangeably. This content is for general information and communication only and is not a legal document, contract, or policy. The simplified language is intended for clarity and common understanding.
We’re excited to launch LOTN Living as a simple, positive space where we can share what’s happening around Lakes of the North. No formal sections or long reports, just short updates, good news, staff and volunteer appreciation, and the everyday moments that make life up north special.
Our goal is to highlight the positive side of community life here: neighbors helping neighbors, committee efforts, seasonal reminders, and the small things that make LOTN feel like home. Updates will be added regularly, so be sure to check back for new posts.
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LOTN Living is created and published by Lakes of the North. We welcome ideas and story suggestions from our members, though the blog is not an open submission platform for independently written articles or advertisements and is not intended for daily happenings or routine updates.